{"id":317,"date":"2021-08-09T20:14:37","date_gmt":"2021-08-09T20:14:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kalinap.com\/?page_id=317"},"modified":"2024-06-30T18:17:54","modified_gmt":"2024-06-30T17:17:54","slug":"verses-about-curses","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/kalinap.com\/index.php\/verses-about-curses\/","title":{"rendered":"Floetry & Song"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
~~~ Floetry<\/em> ~~~<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
\u201cLove reflects hope when ego is taken out of the equation\u201d<\/mark>\n\nX was a piece of hot coal, burning red out of the darkness she once came from. Others tried, failed and succeeded in walking over her but I just wanted to hold her in my hands, so she never felt beneath anyone. \n\nNaturally, I could never hold or protect her for too long, she was never mine to protect. Despite this, when I wasn\u2019t tossing her in the air for relief, my vulnerabilities were melting though the holes she created in my palms.  \n\nOver very little time, my reflexive movements became paralysed. I surrendered the rest of my body and mind, to continue keeping her afloat. \n\nNeither of us had the right skills to build our space in an air-tight way, but we loved each other organically and this was enough for then. We took firm grip of our broken tools and built a shelter made for \u2018Us\u2019. A space that only we\u2019d know, created with our blood, sweat and fears. \n\n Together we used our kinetic energy, to launch each other forward. Always each other\u2019s cheerleaders, no matter what vulnerable position life left us in. \n\nWe felt the elements of platonic and romantic love, could not create the colours that we shared. So we produced a bespoke and magical colour, to paint the insides of our walls. We filled our space with laughter. Music. Dance and books. And ornaments that we collected from the long Australian roads. It was pure synergy between us, bliss, never before felt. \n\nUntil reasons never given, the lights in her eyes turned out. X Closed the shutters on our home, shamelessly, over night. The same eyes that lit our space, had now plunged it into darkness. Confusion set into my mind, through the avenue of no communication. \n\nWhat had I done wrong by treating her with love-honour-and-respect? \nWhy was I no longer good enough to stand tall by her side? \n\nPerceiving this as daylight robbery, compare and despair lined the walls. Not a game I was going to win, with no input of compassion for myself. Animosity and self-doubt, the only languages I could speak, as X abandoned our home but still laid comfortably in my bed.  \n\nMy stomach turned to knots, cruising the linings of surrounding organs. A playground of circular thoughts, provoked unconscious everyday movements. \n\n~Expectation.Frustration.Rejection~\n\nLeft to feast on tumours, lips remained sealed. Black-matter generated the raw script, that my voice box later revealed. \n\nSILENCE, still the weapon, X carried close by her heart. A professional at slicing people open and leaving them in parts. Her drama's eventually slicing, communication, to my telephone-board. \n\nContent with not knowing her, for the foreseeable future. Rejecting all lines not traced, in deep introspection.  <\/pre>\n\n\n\n
Wishes & Travel<\/mark> (02\/17)\n\nToday I woke up and I missed you.\nI missed your smell, your energy, your bestowing.\nI missed that feeling that today would be something different. Something new...something thought provoking...\n\nI wish I could be nowhere again, with wings beneath my feet. \nA drunk sense of perception, the ONLY thing guiding me.\n\nI wish I could run back into your arms, so I could feel at home again.\nYour mystery, escapism, freedom, are just the very basics I crave from you.\n\nI wish you were still my reality. My comfort, my soul, my belonging.\nBut for you I chose to sacrifice everything foreseen,\nto live in a world of the undisclosed.\n\nI wish security, comfort and stability, were not your polar opposites.\nBut I believe in a world of options, and a future I cannot see.\n\nI wish I never tried to conform, I felt like a stranger to me.\nBut without these dull experiences, how would I have grown and felt free?\n\nSo I'm putting back on my blindfold, \nreleasing my wrists from conformity.\nTaking the risk that this will all float well,\n listening to the beat of my own free will.<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
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~~~ S<\/em>ong ~~~<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
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Raw, Uncut<\/strong><\/em> & Unapologetic<\/em><\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Frustrated love<\/p>(02\/18)<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n